Sunday, 11 January 2009
Going Deeper
As a result of how Lilith reacted when I wrote about discipline I thought that it would be only right that she has the opportunity to contribute directly to the blog and so I have invited her to become a co-writer. This is because she is such an important part of my search that I think it is necessary for her to say things directly instead of as a response to what I am thinking and feeling and I am allowing her to do this because I trust her and also because it will give me considerable pleasure and one of the most important things for her is to give her Master pleasure.
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I am very honoured my beloved Master invited me to write proper in the blog not only as comment. But the mushy me, I will do it and look forward it, but first time I want to be side by side with my Master. And at the moment we are on a distance in two different cities, so is just a few more days away. The collar was ordered and arrived yesterday. Is incredible feelings. All sort of emotions and feelings, nice and even not nice. I am glad my Master accepted me as his sub and very honoured that he wants me to wear his collar and be his 24/7 and only sub. On the other hand now fears growing more. I had a very bad experience with another Master who sort of disowned me, if ever he owned me. And except that I not had a Master before. I knew I am submissive, just took a while to get there. So now with collaring day coming closer I fear so much I am not a good sub and have fears to disappoint my Master. And really that really is worse for me. Is my purpose and my desire to serve my Master and give him pleasure, what if I do wrong. And he disown me than, or not disown me but take collar away. I could not handle that as my Master is the most wonderful man in the world and I would never ever want to loose him
My dear submissive you need not fear that you will not be a good submissive or that you will disappoint your Master. I will be training you to make sure that you serve me in the ways I want. If you do wrong you will be given discipline until you learn not to do the wrong again.
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